I love being a mom. I love my little girl unconditionally and I can't imagine our lives without her. But sometimes it's hard being a mom. Just this weekend I felt like I had no freedom and had to miss out on fun things because I was caring for my little girl.
My baby defiantly has separation anxiety. When I'm around she doesn't want anyone else. There's only one other person she will willingly go to when I'm around and that's one of her daycare teachers. Otherwise, when I'm around and she's awake she wants me to devote all my time to her. Sometimes I have to hide just to get some alone time. However, that hasn't been working as well as it has in the past now that she's walking. She knows how to hunt me down better. Yesterday I wasn't allowed to eat breakfast in piece. She cried for the first whole hour that we were awake. The only times she didn't cry was when I was holding her. However it's hard to make and eat breakfast and hold a baby sometimes. After breakfast I finally got her to calm down and we rocked for almost 1/2 hour. Normally I can deal with the crying, but I have to admit it does get to me and I just can't handle it. Once my hubby got home I went and hid in the basement. I just needed alone time.
Other struggles is I have is I feel like I'm not allow to go out and enjoy stuff. The daycare had a Christmas Program this weekend. It was a lot of fun and really cute, but my little girl apparently had so much fun shaking the jingle bells she wanted to go back up front and I had to miss most of the program because I had to take her out into the church lobby (our daycare is located in a church).
I've also missed several church serves over the past couple of months because of the separation anxiety. I can drop her off in the church nursery and if I'm lucky I can go down and enjoy a song or two before the announcements. Then our number flashes up on the little screen and we get paged to come back up to the nursery. Today was a real treat. I got to sit through the whole church service. What a treat!
It's hard being a mom sometimes. I never realized how many sacrifices I would have to make sometimes. Most of the time I'm happy to make those sacrifices. But sometimes I just need a break and re-energize myself. But I feel like it's hard to get that time to myself unless I take a day off from work or leave the house. Well what if I just want to sit at home and relax? Well, there's a baby and she will hunt me down or I will hear her. Hopefully this separation anxiety will pass and when she gets passed off to dad or anyone else there will be no screaming.
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